First Brush

This is not my first brush with the death of someone close to me. When Tito Pet died a few years back, our family was devastated. He was one of the last standing patriarchs on Mom's side of the family. But he died with a full life behind him after battling cancer. He was a husband, a doctor, raised three sons, helped raise the women in my mother's family, had grandchildren, was a dope man.

RC was 28. He wanted big things for himself -a family, a house, to be successful. He was discovering new things and new places. He had so much ahead of him, so much life, so much to love.

As I get older, I see that each death will feel different. Tito Pet's felt full and timely -untimely in the sense that one never wants to lose their loved ones, but timely in the sense that he had done his thing over the years. When I think of RC's death, it makes me cold and a feeling of emptiness washes over me. The question marks that exist for me in this case didn't exist for the other deaths I've encountered.

Mom reminded me that the mystery of this will always remain and that I must just place him on the alter along with myself. I miss his spirit, his energy on this earth. The light is extinguished from the human world, but I pray, God, please take care of him.