Understanding, Forgiveness, and Healing: Autoethnography Reflections

If you read any of my earlier blogs, you saw that I had begun an autoethnography project in my class. I said that we'd see how it went by the students' reflections. Some of my toughest students said some of the greatest reflections on the process of writing their own autoethnographies and listening to others' stories.

Two of the students who fought me tooth and nail on this project said this in response:

“...before doing this presentation I was really convinced that doing this project will get me no where. I was really stubborn about telling my story to my classmates but after telling my story and reflection, I realized a lot about myself. There’s a lesson in every situation and it took me this long to realize who I was as a person. I was finally relieved and I thought it was very interesting to see how many people felt the same way after presentating their stories.” –JH

“What I learned from doing my autoethnography is that it’s good to open up and that people really do listen when you speak. What I learned from listenting to the autoethnographies on my classmate was that a lot of us can relate to certain things and there’s more than meets the eye.” –TR (this student was CONVINCED our class was not going to be able to handle listening to each other's stories respectfully)

Here are some of the other highlights:

• Some students spoke about how they learned from the suffering in their stories and the stories of others.

“…Personally, without suffering I wouldn’t be able to be who I am today and honestly I am proud of who I am. By this autoethnography I have realized that about a lot of people in the class and that they have grown up struggling but it has made every one in here a good person…I learned that I had a lot in common with my classmates...”- SW

“The suffering we have all been through is directly related to our socioeconomic status, government, education, etc. Chance has affected us, but in reality the larger causes is due to the accumulated effects of the culture/society that we live in. Without suffering we may have never realized this or felt empathy, unification, relief, respect and the reality of our lives” –CH

“I would say tht because when you suffer, your get a good thing out of it. It may not be what you wanted, but it’s a good thing. Like something you can get from suffering is strength. So next time something like that happens again, you can be stronger.” –RM

“I think talking about my suffering was the most incredible project I’ve done throughout my whole life. Why? Because I actually realized that it’s not a shame to let others see how much you’ve been through. It actually let’s people understand why you sad all the time or why you judge everyne or why you happy all the time. Furthermore, without the suffering, we are not strong. Meaning, if my dad didn’t kick me out last year, I wouldn’t have been able to become the strong woman I am now.” –MSED

“Without the obstacles we face we won’t acknowledge the goodness we have in our life. The experiences we live make us who we are. When someone overcomes obstacles they can help someone else more than if they hadn’t overcome anything in their life..." -RM

“Suffering helps you learn from your mistakes it makes you a better person and also help you deal with future similar situations or give a hint how to handle worst. I think it can also show you your limits and boundaries and make who you are.” –IT

“We can learn from our sufferings and other people’s sufferings. By understand how our sufferings make us as a person we are free from “foolish fantasies” which is illusions about everyone, everything, and which makes us not there to ourselves and others. If we understand ourselves, we better understand other, which gives us a clear sense of direction when we’re faced with a situation.” –AN

• Other students' spoke about the benefit of sharing stories with one another

“For me I began to learn that being strong doesn’t mean that you don’t cry.” –LF

“I learned how to carry myself in front of my classmate after listen to their stories. This experience give me tools of using my voice among others, and I was surprised after being heard by my classmate that in the word while open your heart to others you will be remembered by them forever. No matter the struggle forgivesness can come just after let’s my soul out of the door.” –MN

“…we don’t really speak to others about our problems and situations that we go through. So we tend to act or believe that we have “terrible” lifestyles or that we’re “not loved.” Then when we communicate with each other and notice others have similar stories when we hold things in it can take a toll on us, when we tell someone you feel relieved and at least you know you’re not alone and you don’t have to go through it by yourself whether it’s good or bad.” -JF

“We all need to learn how to be considerate of others and by doing this project we were able to empathize with our peers and learn from them.” -IS

“I learned to respect and feel empathy for all of my classmates. I learned we are all human in every sense and I learned to understand people as well as what has shped them to be who they are today.” –CH

“When we express our feelings and sorrows we are relieving the guilt and stress of having it on your brain and heart. Nobody is perfect and I feel that when you open yourself up to others and hear others voice out, you can connect to them and not feel alone. There are other people in similar situations like you who can provide comfort and connect.” –UM

“…everyone has a story and that as different as everyone is and their stories, we are all still connected. I was surprised that everyone who presented, mentioned something that related to me and/or my life.” –DJ

“I learned that you could never judge a person because you don’t know what a person has been through in their lives. I learned that some problems people face at home affects their performance at school and could be the reason while they are not too passionate about their education. I learned that someone can be going through so much and you can’t even notice it because they learn to hide their problems with a smile, when in all reality they are hurting inside. L “ –RF

“I learned that I love these people. In my heart I wept for them tears, laughed at this jokes and hurt with their pain., I learned about tolerance and acceptance and perseverance and how strength and beauty are intertwined on levels I didn’t see before.” –MK

“I learned about the ways people are influenced by their life experiences and how there are so many connections between people’s experiences that they don’t realize. Also I knew that there were things I didn’t know about my classmates, but I wouldn’t have ever imagined some of the experiences having happened to them. It was a good reminder that you should never judge a book by its cover.” –ED

“I’ve learned that no one is perfect along with everyone has to go through something in order to grow. After listening to different autoethnography I learned how strong people became based on certain situations they go through. Also how certain situation people go through affect they way they act and function in school around other students. It’s shocking because you would never think someone went through such a thing based on how they behave in school.” –AG

“I learned how similar a lot of us are. And how much my past I’ve dealt with and how much I still need to deal with. And I can’t compare how hard my life was to other people because people are strong and weak at times and you shouldn’t compare your pain to other’s or envy other’s too.” –J Correia

“I learned that most people had a hard time growing up. Like they didn’t have their father around. They had to learn to be a man themselves, or had to learn from experiences that happen to them or somebody close to them.” –RM

“By doing my autoethnography I realized how much my family has affected me. I saw where the things that make me who I am came from. Listening to the autoethnography presentations of other classmates I learned of how people face similar problems and situations. I also liked seeing past the surface of my classmates.” –LR

“I learned that I had a lot of anger built up inside... Also, I learned that there are a lot of people who have been through what I’ve been through and that I’m not alone.” –DT

“I learned everything that people went through and how they deal with it. The most important part was how special everyone is and how strong and the love they get from everyone even thought they have people they lost they have to suffer so that they can get it back or become even more happy in the future.” –JP

“I learned more about myself and who I really am. I really understand my experiences and my life and why I act the way I do. I also learned the real inside of people because we only know the outside we never leawrnthe inside very much. Hearing the stories allowed me not to be afraid to tell my story and my life because I knew I wouldn’t feel alone.” -SL

“From doing my auoethnography, I learned how to be more open and comfortable with others, being able to communicate with them and discuss secretive things... I’ve learned to understand people more rather than judging them every minute. I have also learned to forgive but to never forget because everything that was said in our autethnographies were issues that affected us in some sorta way and we all will live with it for the rest of our lives but we will continue to move on in our lives.” –CS

“I learned that people around me have grown from their experience and still learning. This shows me that we should all stop fighting each other...talking badly about each other because what we go through everyday really affects people and how they view society. These are the main reasons why there is so much violence in our communities.”-ML

Again, super bigups to Cam for sharing this teaching/learning strategy with me!!!