Reminders

Who would have thought that taking a standardized teaching test would remind me why I love teaching? Lately, I have been feeling extremely disengaged. Seems I can't wait to finish up this year. Could it be senioritis?

This morning, though, I sat for the NY State teaching test in Secondary Education. The test is broken up into different sections that address three areas of teaching skill: Student Development and Learning, Instruction and Assessment, and the Professional Environment. The test is in two parts: Multiple Choice and an Open Response. As I answered the 80 multiple choice questions, I realized that I actually know stuff about teaching. I knew that I knew, but I knew! And as I answered questions about why a teacher might do this or that in relation to students or planning a lesson or unit, I remembered why I like teaching! Of course, Little Miss Overthinker was doing this while she was taking a test! For a minute I had to tell myself to stop critiquing the test and just answer the questions correctly.

I realized that this year has been particularly difficult because of my role as the history department head. It's been insanely stressful and I have the bad habit of taking on too much responsibility. I think I've tired myself out with all of these responsibilities -teaching and facilitating. In my reflection, I recognized that in the four years I've been at my school, I haven't had one year where I was just teaching. For three years, I was the debate coach and this year I'm facilitating the history department. It's been too much. For all of those hours where I was coaching, going to debate tournaments, at leadership team meetings, or planning history team meetings, those were hours where I wasn't lesson planning, reflecting on my classroom, assessing my students' success. I realize that I chose to do that, nobody really forced me to do all of it, but am I asking too much to have a few years just teaching? I don't think so. One of the more veteran teachers whom I trust with my life told me at the beginning of my teaching career to just say no. As I move forward, I'm going to have to be able to say that so that I can ensure my own development for the sake of good teaching and student learning.

I guess it's never too late.